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Additional Excerpt
I ain’t
sure what time it was when I first got up. I only know the sky was filled
with more colors than I ever seen at any one time. Now up at the very top
there was still a big ol’ patch of black, and even though it was ‘bout as
spit-shiny clean as black vinyl leather in a brand new pickup truck, it
ain’t one of the colors I’m referrin’ to. But just below that there musta
been fifty different shades of purple and blue – and while all of ‘em
appeared to be dancin’ with one another, I couldn’t tell which ones was
leadin’ and which ones wasn’t. And then on the outskirts, you know, at
the bottom, where the feet would go if the sky had feet, ya had some
orange, some red, a little bit of pink, and even a streak or two of
yellow. Funny thing is, those colors didn’t appear to want nothin’ to do
with each other, let alone dancin’. Hell no. It was more like they was
in a race to reach the center, each one sprinklin’ the sky with little
pieces of itself the closer it got.
The thing is, even with all them colors floatin’ around up there, it was
still too damn dark to see much of anything, which might explain why I
tripped over a fallen tree on my way to take a leak. Now it wouldn’t have
been so bad if all I did was stumble a couple of feet, but I didn’t. Hell
no. I fell on my ass then proceeded to roll down some kinda wet
embankment or somethin’, stoppin’ only when this little ol’ dirt pile came
up to greet me. The good news is that it stopped me from rollin’ any
further. The bad news is that a simple hello would have been all the
greetin’ I needed. Meanin’, by the time I figured out how to wrestle
myself outta there, this little ol’ dirt pile turned into a big ol’ bowl
of mud, coverin’ me from top to bottom in the process.
‘Course with my luck always fallin’ somewhere between slim and none, with
slim usually long-gone anytime it really matters, that wasn’t the end of
my stumblin’. Only I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the kinda stumblin’ where ya
trip and fall down like before. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the kinda stumblin’
where ya run across somethin’ ya ain’t expectin’ to – as in I stumbled
across a skunk on my way back to where me n’ Travis had us our camp. And
boy lemme tell ya, that skunk was ‘bout as surprised to see me as I was to
smell her. Unfortunately I didn’t start smellin’ her until I started
smellin’ me. Now you wanna talk about a nice howdayado? Man-o-lordy-man,
that there is it.
Fact is I was stinkin’ so bad I had to peel off my clothes right on the
spot. Left ‘em there too. Why not? Whose gonna show up in the middle of
nowhere and help themselves to a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt when
they’re caked with mud stains and skunk perfume? Besides, I was fixin' to
wash 'em down by the water later that morning… which brings me to another
interestin’ point.
There I am – the sun ain’t yet showed it’s face – I punched out Endora,
the she-devil woman, only a handful of hours before (not to mention
Willie’s big ol’ window) – I’m sleepin’ outside to escape the police,
even though this place me n’ Travis call The Ledge is pert near the
prettiest place this side of wherever – I been swallowed up by mud,
sprayed by a skunk, forced to walk back to camp in the chilliest part of
the day buck naked, and I ain’t even had my morning coffee. Now, if that
don’t beat all hell, what does?
Yeah, well, I got my answer soon enough, and it goes somethin’ like this:
No sooner do I get done explainin’ my predicament to Travis when he makes
me a cup of coffee over that perky little flame he had goin’, and I go and
spill the whole dang thing all over myself.
   
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